


Drink and Tell Me Your Life Story

by AnonymouslyFabulous



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: M/M, Reader Insert, Transformers - Freeform, hella gay, idw - Freeform, male reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-03-24 18:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymouslyFabulous/pseuds/AnonymouslyFabulous
Summary: Swerve notices an Autobot that frequents his bar almost every day.





	1. Drink and Tell Me Your Life Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swerve notices an Autobot who frequents his bar almost every night and decides to talk with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had a lot of fun making this story! I don't usually see a lot of Male Reader Inserts, so I took the liberty of making one. I hope you enjoy!  
> I don't own Transformers. If I did, there would be a lot more gay Transformers haha.

Swerve didn't even notice the Autobot until about the seventh visit.  The familiar, clean shine of F/C armour coupled with the E/C optics confirmed his suspicions.  It was the same Autobot sitting on the bar stool at his counter, tracing the top of his alcohol glass and taking a sip every so often.  He would come in through the door, look around, sigh, and then go to the counter and order the same thing every time.  The Nitro Boost Special.  That was a drink that could even knock a Prime off their stabilizers.  It was a wonder the frame of the Autobot wasn't crumpled on the floor when he downed more than one. 

Tonight wasn't any different. The eighth visit. Swerve found himself waiting by the mixers to make the Autobot his drink. Force of habit, he guessed. 

The bar was fairly busy on the Lost Light, electricity sparking in the air as both Decepticons and Autobots traded war stories from back in the day.   Whirl was busy trying to show off how tough he was, mostly to Cyclonus, who just looked bored as he absent mindedly sipped at his drink.   Tailgate was beside him listening intently to Chromedome telling stories about the many times Prowl has flipped a table. 

Swerve glanced at the door. Still no mysterious Autobot. He shuffled towards the small gate that closed off the counter from everyone else.   

' _If he's not coming, it wouldn't hurt to go see my_ -'

Swerve's thoughts were cut off when the door slid open suddenly and in walked the Autobot.  Swerve practically dove towards the mixing area near the front, leaned on the counter, and pretended as though he were there the entire time.  When the Bot sat down in his usual place, Swerve pretended as though he had never seen him before. 

"Hey there! Didn't see ya walk in. Can I get you anything or..." Swerve trailed off.  The Autobot smiled graciously at him. 

"I'll have the regular please."

Swerve smiled back, unable to help himself. That smile was goddamn contagious, "Sure. I'll be back in a jiff!"

As he mixed the drink, Swerve cursed himself. 

' _Be back in a jiff? Who says that anymore?'_ Swerve thought bitterly. 

Swerve finished and plopped the drink down in front of the Autobot.  Taking a gulp, the Bot looked over at Swerve.

"Anything exciting happen around here?" The Autobot asked suddenly. 

"Depends on the day, honestly. Whirl, for example, usually starts a fight in here or makes a new enemy every time he comes." Swerve pointed his thumb over at Whirl, who was now arm-wrestling with Cyclonus.

The Autobot quirked an eyebrow and nodded at Chromedome, who was making wild gestures with his arms. 

"What's going on over there?"

"Eh, Chromedome is telling Tailgate about ol' Prowl's glory days."

The Autobot smiled again. Swerve smiled back.  There was no use in fighting the urge.

' _Maybe this won't be so bad.'_ He thought, as the Autobot began talking with him.

\-----

The next night, or the ninth visit (As Swerve referred to them now) the Autobot came at a later time. 12:00pm.  Swerve once again found himself waiting by the mixing machine, already preparing the Nitro Boost Special.  Several times he stopped in the middle of making the damn thing, questioning why he was making the drink. 

_'What he's a no-show and no one wants the drink? It'll be a waste of precious supplies.'_

The night at his bar wasn't as busy as the night before, but Rewind was keeping everyone entertained with movies he recorded and edited. Movie Night at Swerve's. 'MNS' as Whirl called it. They usually hosted these movies about three times a week, each night something different. Being a historian, Rewind always had something new to show everyone, but he said that a different bot recorded this, and he only edited. Tonight, the movie was about the Battle at Turbofox Ridge, infamously named after it's overabundance of Turbofoxes.

The bar was dimly lit, with the few lights on the bottom of the counter barely lighting the dark corners of the room. The Biolights on the bots gave away their positions on the chairs they sat on in the far corner of the room, where the Hologram was being played. Swerve counted at least 13 bots watching the movie. 

Swerve set the alcoholic drink down. He leaned against the counter, elbow propped up and chin resting on his hand. Taking a side glance towards the sliding door, Swerve entertained himself by watching the movie. 

Everyone was engrossed in it, so why not watch it?

' _Optimus Prime was in the front, leading the battalion of soldiers behind him. A grenade exploded nearby, causing a rain of dirt and metal to shower from the heavens. Prime shielded himself with his arm and shot the Cons with the other._  

" _Quickly now! This way!" Optimus shouted over the gunfire. He pushed through two Heavy-Class Decepticons and shot one in the chest with a missile exterminating him. The other looked up from his fallen brethren and growled, punching his fists together._

_The bot completely towered over Prime, almost the height of a combiner. Most bots turn tail and run, but Optimus wasn't known to back down easily. He charged the Heavy-Class, kicking him in the knee and pushing up from the appendage, and to the Con's face. The big brute swiped at Prime as he jumped up, but hit empty air and set himself off balance._

_Optimus took this chance and grabbed onto the edge on the Con's torso piece, yanking him down as Optimus pushed off and fell to the ground. Optimus used the momentum and slammed the Con on the ground. The Con grunted in pain once he hit the ground, and tried to swipe at Optimus._

_But Optimus was too fast for the slow Con. He dodged the fist aiming for his head and-'_

"Oh, drink's already made? How nice" 

Swerve jumped in the air at the sound of the voice, having been so involved in the movie he had not seen or heard the bot walk in. 

Swerve whirled around to face the slightly smiling Autobot, trying to look as casual as possible even though he just got scared shitless.   

"Yeah! I thought...y'now since it's your favourite drink...I thought I would-"

"Ooooooh!" Whirl teased and twisted around in his seat, claws clasped together, "Ol' chatterbox's got a crush!" 

The movie was paused and everyone turned around to face the pair at the counter. A bunch of voices started cooing at the two, causing the Autobot blushed slightly and sip at his drink. 

"Wh-What!" Swerve sputtered, face heating up in embarrassment. 

"Wow, you actually got Swerve, of all bots, to stammer and almost stop talking. Please teach me how you did it." Cyclonus said. Whirl made a kissing noise. 

"Swerve's embarrassed! You can tell he's totally into the Autobot." Whirl sniggered.

"Stop it! I don't even know his name!" Swerve defended, face flushed a bright blue.

"Ooh! Ooh! Lemme guess!" Tailgate raised his hand. "I overheard someone say your name.  It's Undertoe, right?" 

The Autobot shook his head. 

"It's M/N, actually."  

Silence. 

"Wow, you were really off Tailgate." Whirl said. Tailgate gasped angrily.

"Hey! At least I tried!" 

Rewind sighed and gestured to the hologram in front of them, the screen frozen with the Heavy-Class Decepticon bleeding and dying. 

" _Anyway,_ can we get back to the movie? It's at the best part." 

Everyone shushed themselves after that. Whirl made another kissing noise and pointed at M/N, who was busy tracing his glass to distract himself. Swerve gave him the finger. The speakers exploded with the sounds of the battlefield, and Optimus shouting for his soldiers to charge the enemy.   The group settled down and started watching the motion picture. 

M/N kept staring at his glass as he sat down on the barstool. Eventually, he twirled around in his seat and leaned against the counter, watching the movie.  Swerve put his head in his hands. 

"I'm so sorry about what happened there." 

M/N glanced at him. 

"It's fine." Was all he said. Gulping down the rest of his drink, M/N motioned for another one. Swerve didn't say anything else as he took the glass, and refilled it with the same alcohol. 

Feeling like M/N didn't want to talk, Swerve started watching the movie. 

\-------

M/N came the next night at an earlier time. 9:00pm.  Swerve wasn't expecting to see him. 

Swerve was just minding his own business, making High-grade energon for his customers and thinking about the previous night's events. 

 _'Why did Whirl have to say that? I mean, it's Whirl c'mon, but still. It's not like I'm in love with M/N. Sure, he's nice and's never told me to shut up when I'm telling a story and he's actually really handsome and-_ ' 

Swerve stopped everything he was doing. The Bot grabbing the drink from Swerve's hand took it, gave him a credit, and sat down at the table with his friends throwing concerned glances over his shoulder every now and then.

 _'Do I actually like him?_ '

Swerve sighed and rubbed his optics. _'What am I thinking?_ ' 

Swerve rested his head on the counter, arms curled around his helm.  The door opened, but it went unnoticed by Swerve, who was too busy thinking about his feelings.  Somebot slid into the seat in front of him, hands together and waiting for Swerve to notice them. 

Someone cleared their throat. 

"Yeah?"

"Are you too sulky to make a drink for me?" M/N's familiar voice made Swerve snap out of his little crisis.  M/N gave Swerve a warm smile. Swerve didn't say anything, jaw dropped and optics wide behind his visor.

"I think I'll go with something different tonight, please." He said, breaking the awkward silence between them. 

"Uh...sure. What would you...uh-like?"

M/N jabbed his thumb over his shoulder at the Bot who was just at the counter, "Whatever he's having."

Swerve nodded, still shocked the bot had  _come_ tonight.  He threw the ingredients in the mixer and shook the bottle.  Pouring it into a glass, he slid it across the counter to the bot.  M/N caught it and started to slowly sip at it. 

"So...about last night..." M/N trailed off, flicking his optics towards Swerve.  Swerve twiddled his thumbs and chuckled nervously. 

"You know how Whirl is. Opens his...does he even have a mouth? Anyway, he opens whatever he has before he thinks about it."

M/N lips curled into a small smile. 

"Yeah, who knows."

They fell in a silence again, listening to the sounds of the bar.  Clinking glass, voices deep in conversation, laughter, Whirl's really bad jokes. 

' _Ask him...ask him why he's here.'_

"So...uh why are you on the Lost Light?"

M/N looked up sharply, obviously taken aback by the question. 

"To get away from Cybertron I guess. Things were getting crazy back home so there was no use staying there, with the Nails running around and starting riots and throwing bombs around like they're playing catch." 

M/N made eye contact with Swerve and tilted his head.

"What about you?"

"Me? Well, I'm a stickler for adventure. I saw this as a way to expand my horizons and see new worlds and species." Swerve said, placing his hands on his hips, making a heroic pose.  M/N smirked. 

"I see. It's not because Red Alert wanted you to stop talking and just let you aboard, huh?" 

Swerve faltered. His face heated up in embarrassment. 

"Oh...you heard about that huh?"

"I think everyone has." M/N chuckled. It was deep and warm and full of happiness. Swerve's spark started to pulse faster and he suddenly felt very _very_ giddy. 

M/N tapped his fingers on the counter, gesturing to the Autobot insignia on Swerve's chest.

"So...I see you're part of the grand ol' Autobots. I'm guessing you saw at least a slice of the war?" 

Swerve looked down at his chest and subconsciously rubbed it.  

"Yeah. I was mostly at base monitoring communication lines and whatnot. Usually relaying messages." 

M/N's optics flicked to his insignia and then back up to Swerve's face.

"How was that?"  

Swerve didn't know what to say. Bots never usually talked to him this long.

' _He hasn't even told me to shut up. He enjoys my company!'_ Swerve squealed internally, but kept the straightest face he could muster.

"Eh, had its ups and downs, like any job in the warfield.  I usually got to run around with a datapad and tell my superior officers what the hell was going on in the base on the other side of Cybertron.  Sometimes, I was even a courier.  Small, easy to miss, ignored." He said as nonchalantly as he could.  Thinking back, they probably wanted him to get shot or something.

"What about you? Were you a brave commander or an officer back at base?"

M/N smiled.

"Neither, actually. I used to be a normal soldier.  Out in the frontlines, shooting Decepticons, listening to orders like any good soldier would.  I didn't play a very big role in the war." M/N said after a few seconds.  He raised his glass to his lips and drained the rest of it. 

"Hey, without you guys fighting the good fight, us little guys up in command would have been toast." Swerve said, beaming when M/N blushed blue.  

"Thanks." M/N looked at his empty glass. 

"Can I get another please?"

Swerve took it without another word and made the drink as fast as he could.  He didn't want this night to end. 

M/N nodded his thanks when the glass was set in front of him.  He didn't touch it, however.  M/N's took the words out of everyone's mouth with a simple question. 

"What do you think will happen if we _don't_ find the Knights of Cybertron?"

Swerve sighed and rubbed his face.

"I really don't know.  If we come back empty handed, the Nails will probably continue to start riots and maybe run us out of Cybertron. Or start another war. It's just a theory, to be honest, but it's still plausible."

M/N shuddered.

"So we'll end up homeless again, if you're right. And everyone will shun us. Splendid."

Swerve scratched at his insignia.

"Yep. Splendid indeed."

Swerve tried to think of having to leave Cybertron just after winning it back after millions of years of war.  After millions of deaths. 

He grimaced.  That was not what he wanted.  They had won fair and square and they deserved to be there, just like the Nails deserve to be there.  Swerve wondered how things were going back at home.  Probably more riots and bombs being chucked into council meetings. 

"I wish they had more things to do on board the Lost Light, instead of Guard Duty and the bar...no offence." M/N's voice cut into Swerve's thoughts. M/N was probably trying to take their minds off the subject. Swerve smiled.

"None taken.  If anything, I agree.  We need a pool table in here."

M/N gave him a confused stare. 

"What's that?"

"It's a human game where you have a stick and you push balls into holes.  It's simple, but it looks fun."

M/N hmmed.

"I'll bring it up to Rodimus if we have another meeting like yesterday."

Ah...yesterday.  When everyone voiced their concerns and a fight almost broke out on the ship.  Whirl and Cyclonus punched each other a few good times before Ultra Magnus separated them.  Swerve was busy placing bets while this happened.

"Yesterday's meeting was probably the most interesting thing that has happened so far on this journey."

M/N chuckled.

"Yeah probably."

M/N set his now empty glass down.

"I should probably call it a night." M/N said and reached into his subspace for a credit. Swerve stopped him.

"No need. It's on the house."

M/N beamed gratefully at him. 

"Thanks. Well, see you tomorrow." 

"See you tomorrow." 

Swerve watched him leave and giggled happily. 

Yep. He was definitely in love.  


	2. You're not who you say are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everybody who took the time to read this story of mine!! I really appreciate it and I love to see all sorts of feedback come from a story that was sort of a drabble!  
> Again, thank you everyone and enjoy the read!

Swerve's head was high in the clouds as he stumbled back to his room after closing up the bar for the night.  A big, stupid grin was plastered on his face and bots gave him weird looks as he walked by.  But he didn't care.  Swerve was only focused on one thing.  M/N. 

The little things about M/N made Swerve love him even more.  Like how he could drink so much that even Whirl was impressed.  Or, how he shot Megatron in the back during the famous battle of The Manganese Mountains. Swerve found that farfetched, but M/N showed him a small piece of armour missing when Megatron backhanded him as revenge.  Or, how M/N popped his cheek out when he was deep in thought or how he sits with his legs crossed or-

Yep. Swerve was definitely drunk on love.  Of course, M/N didn't know that. 

Swerve giggled happily, adding a small skip in his step while he walked down the hall.  His grin wouldn't go away.  He couldn't make it go away.  Not that he wanted too. 

Everything was going great and Swerve was happy...until somebody ran into his shoulder.

Swerve yelped in surprise and went flying backwards, hitting the ground hard. Swerve groaned in mild pain and rubbed at his backside gingerly. 

_'Whoever knocked into me is gonna be in a giant world of pai-_ '

"Sorry! So sorry, buddy! That was all my fault, I should have watched where I was going." M/N's voice cut through his murderous thoughts. Swerve straightened up immediately.

_'Oh scrap it's M/N oh scrap oh scrap act natural act natural otherwise he'll suspect something's up!_ '

Swerve opened his mouth to say something back, but his voice caught in his throat. The odd strangling sound that escaped Swerve's lips made M/N smile humorously. 

"Turbofox got your tongue?" He said jokingly and offered to help Swerve up. Swerve still couldn't move and only watched M/N with wide optics.  M/N gave him a concerned look. 

"Are you okay? I didn't...hurt you, did I?"

Instead of the obvious answer of "No I'm fine" Swerve instead blurted out "What are you doing?"

The worst part was, was that he shouted it in the hallway and everyone stopped what they were doing to give him an odd look. 

M/N looked taken aback, but he didn't look disgusted with Swerve.  Instead, he looked like he was about to laugh. That didn't make Swerve feel any better, though. 

"Guard duty." M/N said with a slight curl of his lip, watching Swerve take his hand. "I got stuck with it when the other bot mysteriously got 'sick'."

M/N pulled Swerve onto his feet and gave him a slight smile. 

"Oh, that's fun. How's it been so far?" Swerve asked, trying to sound casual and act like he totally wasn't speechless for the first time in his life and that he was acting completely natural and nothing was weird and-

"I broke up two drunken bots fighting over a letter opener. Other than that, it's been really, _really_ boring." M/N sighed, "You...wanna walk with me? I could use the company." 

If Swerve could melt into a puddle of goo, he would have right at that moment.  

"O-okay...sure." Swerve said, cursing himself for looking like a complete idiot. 

M/N's smile grew even wider and he took the lead. Swerve followed beside him, optics tracing the floor and counting the tiles. 

They walked in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of their footsteps and the distant voices of Cybertronians having conversations. 

"So...how are you doing?" Swerve broke the silence and cringed at how awkward he sounded. It was like a first date gone bad. Swerve's spark froze.

' _Is_ _this a date? Does M/N want me to think this is a date? What if-_ '

M/N laughed warmly at his awkward question and broke Swerve's train of thought for the second time in ten minutes. 

"I'm doing great, now that you asked. What about you?" Swerve started blushing again, much to his disdain.

"I'm...fine. Just a little distracted." That was an understatement.  He was very distracted.  M/N titled his head.

"Just a little? You seemed very distant when we bumped into each other and plus, you've barely spoken a word since we started walking. That in itself is very unlike you." M/N said and they rounded a corner. Swerve shook his head and put on a fake smile. 

"Nah. I'm okay."

'No! _I'm not okay! I'm not okay with bottling up my feelings whenever you're around! I'm not okay with the fact that you probably don't even like me back! I'm not okay!_ ' Swerve screamed in his head, but kept silent. 

M/N raised an eyebrow and his worried look didn't go away, but he didn't say anything more. They continued to walk, but the silence was even more awkward and heavy. 

They passed a window, and Swerve took the opportunity to distract himself. 

"Wow. Look at the stars!" He said, sounding painfully nervous. He pointed at a shooting star flying by the ship, hoping that would take M/N's mind of the previous events. 

"I hear that humans make a wish every time one of these baby's fly by." Swerve said. M/N followed his gaze to the window. 

"Why do they do that?" 

Swerve shrugged. 

"Honestly, I think it's weird that they do it, but I read up on it one time and they apparently wish on them for good luck. Sometimes their wish comes true." Swerve surprised himself with how much he said. M/N looked shocked too. 

"Did...did you just say more than ten words?" 

Swerve felt a grin begin to surface.  A real, _genuine_ grin. 

"Yeah...I guess I did."

Swerve found it easier to talk to him now, not the anxious small talk he was previously doing.  M/N must have noticed this, because he practically beamed down at Swerve. 

"You wanna...stay here a while? I'm on Guard Duty for a few more hours, and they didn't say anything about not watching the windows for enemies." M/N said, gesturing towards the vast numbers of stars. "Tactical advantage, right?"

A few moments later, they were both seated on the floor, watching the stars and planets they passed by.  They were only bothered by one bot, who asked with a concerned voice if they were alright.  After that bot, no one asked them what they were doing on the floor.   

Swerve was staring at a F/C coloured planet that looked exactly like M/N's optics, when an arm snaked around his shoulder.  Swerve jumped at the contact, but didn't protest once he saw it was M/N's arm.  He was busy watching the planet shrink smaller and smaller when a sigh from M/N made him look over. 

"You know, if you need to...talk about anything, or need help with something, I'm here okay? You can trust me." M/N stared straight into Swerve's eyes as he spoke. Swerve averted his optics. M/N hooked his finger under Swerve's chin and gently forced him to look back.

"Okay?"

Swerve shuddered at the contact and blushed profusely. 

"Okay." 

M/N smiled and looked back out towards the window, arm still around Swerve's shoulder.  They sat like this for a long, _long_ time.  That is, until Magnus came marching up from the hallway looking like he was going to murder M/N. 

"This is where you've been? Stargazing?" Magnus growled, watching as M/N slowly got up.  Swerve got up too, and hid behind M/N's large frame for protection.  M/N glanced back at Swerve. 

"When I say run, you better book it like Megatron caught you stealing his energon." M/N whispered over his shoulder.  Swerve smirked. 

"Let's do this."  

 -------- 

Swerve often found himself lying in bed at night, wondering what a life with M/N would be like.  What it would be like to hold him.  What it would be like to kiss him and run his hands down that perfect frame.  Tonight was such a night.

Groaning, Swerve rolled over onto his back. Shifting his visor away, he rubbed at his optics tiredly.  He couldn't fall asleep.   Every time he closed his eyes, M/N would appear. The day's events didn't help either.  After they had escaped from Magnus, they hid in a storage closet together to wait Magnus out.  They stayed in there for a solid two hours, before Whirl came to give them the 'all clear'.  They both laughed for ten minutes straight about the whole ordeal. His stomach hurt after. But it was a good kind of hurt.

' _I need to take my mind off him.'_

Swinging his short legs over the side, Swerve pushed off the bed and stumbled towards his door, opening it with weary digits.  He got the code wrong twice. The door slid open on the third try, and light flooded his dark room, momentarily blinding him for a moment.

With a foggy mind, Swerve entered the hallway, the door closing behind him with a _shhhk_.

The bright lights were still on, and a few bots were stumbling back to their rooms, obviously drunk or tired.  Swerve was the second guess, yet he felt like he had had a few one too many.  It seemed like everyone had gone to bed or was going to hit the berth fairly quickly.  Swerve was one of the few still up.

Swerve walked through the hallways, saying hi to bots and even striking up a conversation with a few of the guards on night watch.  All the while, he subconsciously kept a lookout for M/N while he walked around. 

' _Maybe he got night shift? Or Magnus caught him and he's going back to his room?'_

Swerve checked his internal clock and found it was 3:00pm.   Groaning, Swerve started making his way through the twisty hallways back to his room.  It wasn't until he got to his door that M/N started popping up in his mind again.

' _Tell him. Tell him how you feel.'_

_'Honestly, what's the worst that could happen? Rejection? You're used to that, that shouldn't bother you.'_

_'Maybe he likes you back.  You'll never know unless you-'_

Swerve smacked himself in the side of the face.  A bot walking by gave him a weird look.

' _Stop it! No one would like a chatterbox like me.  Like I said before, people like me for my jokes and nothing else.'_

Opening his door, Swerve walked in and flopped onto his bed, feeling very awake.  

' _But there may be a chance M/N likes me back.'_

Swerve turned on his side and tried to fall asleep. Tried to squash the thoughts swarming around his head.  Either he was just very tired, or Primus must have had pity on him, as he fell into recharge almost immediately.

\---------- 

The night started out normal.  M/N came at his usual time of 9:00pm and ordered two things.  The first drink he ordered was actually shots. 

A flyer that went by the name of Airborne challenged M/N to a drinking contest.  That's when things got wild.  Everyone had gathered a crowd around the counter where M/N and Airborne were sitting and started shouting "Chug! Chug! Chug!". The crowd got even more crazy when Airborne fell out of his seat, drunk out of his mind.  They started screaming incoherent words at him, and a few members of the crowd started passing around credits. 

That all happened in a span of five minutes. 

Now, it was quite, save for Whirl's loud boasting.   

"So what are you planning to do after we get back?" Swerve asked, placing a Fiery Inferno drink in front of M/N, who nodded his head in thanks.  Taking a sip, he shrugged.

"I dunno. Probably open up a Body Shop." M/N answered, shifting in his seat, "What about you?"

"I wanted to opening a bar with Blurr when I get back.  I was actually planning that for after the war, but then the Lost Light adventure came up and I decided that bar can wait." Swerve said.  He felt his spark swell with pride when M/N quirked an eyebrow at Blurr's mention.

" _The_ Blurr?"

Swerve smiled even wider and nodded his head, "Yep!"

M/N hmmmed, looking impressed. 

They fell in a comfortable silence.  Swerve took a big breath in.

' _Ask him. Ask him if he feels the same way.'_

"So...M/N..." Swerve began. M/N's head shot up. "I was wondering if that-well it’s a stupid question really, but do you, by any chance, li-"  

"Swerve! Can I talk to you real quick?" Rewind called from his table.  Chromedome was with him, along with Whirl, who was busy trying to stack cups on one another. Swerve groaned and pushed off the counter. 

"Excuse me a moment."

M/N tilted his head and went back to drinking.

Swerve exited from behind the counter and walked over to the group, a bit angry that they ruined his conversation with M/N.  His confidence was gone, along with his will to ask the question.

"What is it?" Swerve asked, arms crossed.  Rewind glanced at Chromedome, and then back at Swerve. 

"You might want to take a seat for this." Was all he said.  Swerve pulled over a chair and sat down, fingers drumming on the table.

"Well?"

Rewind looked nervous, wringing his hands together and tapping his foot against the floor. 

"It's just that...well-I hate to be the bearer of bad news but-"

Whirl slammed his claws down on the table, frustrated.  His cup tower toppled over and spilled the remaining alcohol. His outburst caught the Bot's attention at the other table, and they paused their game of Poker, staring at Whirl like he was crazy. He growled at them, and they hastily went back to playing cards.

"What Rewind is _struggling_ to say is that your new _boyfriend_ was actually a Decepticon captain in the war.  He's wanted on Cybertron, you know."

Rewind leant back in his chair, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Swerve sat stock-still.  Shock had taken over his body, making him feel cold and empty.

"What do you mean?"

Whirl beat him to it before Rewind could answer. 

"Oh he's wanted for a whole lotta things." Whirl sounded excited to talk about someone else's criminal past. His single eye glowed a bit brighter, "Theft, arson, forgery, smuggling weapons, blowing up buildings, spying, torture-the list goes on by the way-and he even murdered a Senator by carving out his-"

"I get it!" Swerve covered his audio receptors with his hands and dropped his head to the table, "...What's your evidence?" He asked quietly. 

"I thought it was weird that M/N didn't give Red Alert a legitimate reason for coming aboard the Lost Light. Red Alert said he was very distant and agitated and his answers were short and curt. I found that odd, but I didn't think anything of it. Then, while I was looking through some old Decepticon files, I stumbled across his. M/N's build matched the Con on the file." Rewind looked at Swerve with guilt, "Swerve, M/N isn't his real designation...it's R/N." That sentence put Swerve into disbelief. He didn't want to believe it. This couldn't be the same bot that was just sitting at the counter, waiting for him to get back.

No. He refused to believe it. 

A hand was rested on his shoulder, but Swerve didn't know whose it was. He was too numb to even care. 

"I think he joined the Lost Light to run away from the authorities. Swerve, I...I'm sorry." 


	3. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I can't believe how much people actually like my story! I'm smiling so hard right now, its not even funny! Thank you all so much for reading my Swerve and Reader story!  
> Now enough rambling, here is the next chapter!

It was funny how just a few words can make your world crumble down.  It's even funnier that it burns your world when you had a crush on the person who's been lying to you the entire time. 

Rewind's words echoed in Swerve's head like a mantra. Repeating, repeating, repeating.

' _M/N isn't his real name. It's R/N.'_

' _It's R/N'_

_'It's R/N'_

Swerve cradled his head, feeling his spark sinking down and down all the way to the pit of his stomach. 

' _Why would he lie to me?'_ Was the only thought he would think through the foggy shock.  His mind was numb, thoughts moving at about a mile an hour. 

The hand on his shoulder disappeared.  He wanted it back. It was the only thing keeping him from thinking that this was all a horrible nightmare and that he'd wake up in his own berth. 

"I'm sorry Swerve...but we're gonna have to tell Rodimus about R/N"  Chromedome spoke guiltily. Anger washed over Swerve, a murderous feeling creeping into his spark.  At first, he didn't know what to do; he had never been this angry before in his _entire_ life.

"No!" He shouted, and shot up, scraping his chair back with a loud _screech_.

He pointed a finger at Chromedome, who seemed shocked at the sudden outburst; Swerve had surprised himself even.

"I will now allow it.  He may be- _used to be_ -a Decepticon Captain, but that doesn't mean he's evil.  That doesn't mean he has no good inside him. We're _Autobots_ for Primus' sake! We forgive bots and move on!" 

Rewind glanced at his Conjux Endura, but Chromedome shook his head. 

"I'm sorry Swerve. But we can't harbour a Decepticon who's wanted on Cybertron." 

Swerve's throat tightened and red swarmed his vision.  Now he was really mad.

"Would you turn _Rewind_ in if he were a wanted criminal?" 

Chromedome reared his head back and Rewind's visor brightened in surprise at the unexpected comment. Now it was Chromedome's turn to drop the calm demeanour and get angry.  

"That is beside the point Swerve and you know it too!" 

"Oooh, things are getting heated." Whirl said, getting up from his chair. Whirl turned his head to look at Swerve, who was a small bristling ball of rage.   

"I'm sorry pal, but as much fun as it would be to keep this guy onboard, we're gonna have to turn him in. He's probably a psychopath and waiting to kill us all." 

" _You're_ a psychopath Whirl! And we let you stay on the ship!" Swerve argued back.  He had said it louder than he intended too, and a few bots sitting in nearby tables gave them looks of annoyance. 

Whirl placed a hand on his chest and faked being hurt. 

"I am a psychopath, yes. But I'm not wanted on Cybertron." 

Swerve's hands tightened into fists and the urge to punch Chromedome _and_ Whirl in the face grew even more. But he didn't. He even wasn't tall enough to reach their faces. 

Chromedome crossed his arms. Whirl followed suite, trying to look serious. 

"Look, I'm telling Rodimus okay? I'm sure no one here wants to wake up with R/N hovering over their faces with a knife. It's not safe." 

Swerve kept quiet, watching as they left the Bar whispering amongst each other. 

' _I've got to warn him.'_

Swerve glanced back towards the bar, but R/N was gone. Swerve cautiously approached the counter. A stupid side of him _believed_ Rewind; that R/N was hiding on the other side, waiting to carve out his spark like he did to the senator.  That feeling was squashed down and swept back to where it came from. 

The glass was empty, a small note beside it being weighed down by a credit. Swerve picked it up.  The paper crinkled in his shaking grasp and he almost tore it up at the words written on it. 

' _Hey Swerve,_

_I'm sure the commotion over at the table with your friends was probably about me, huh? That they told you who I was and what I did when I was a Decepticon? You're probably really confused right now._

_...You deserve the truth. Meet me at my Hab Suite in fifteen minutes._ '  

Swerve set the paper down gently in his subspace. His hands were shaking and his mouth was dry. 

' _So it is true.'_ He thought bitterly. Swerve rubbed his face tiredly, and looked around the bar.  

There weren't any occupants left, most calling it a night and going to bed. There were only four bots in the room now, and they looked close to leaving the Bar. Plus, bots at this time didn't usually come to order a drink. 

A sudden rush of urgency washed over him.

' _Screw the Bar! I've got to warn R/N.'_

Determination was flying him through the bar, to the door, and down the halls.  He was on autopilot, only focused on getting to R/N's Hab Suite before Magnus and Rodimus got there to arrest him and take him back to Cybertron.  Then, they'd probably throw him in jail and wait until he was rotting to give him a fair trail.  A _fair trial_. Nothing was fair with the Decepticon trails; they were quick and were only dished out to satisfy the protestors. He knew-he had been at one before. 

Swerve skidded to a sudden stop in front of R/N's Hab Suite door.  He listened hard and long, trying to figure out if Magnus was already in there, reading his R/N's rights and placing cuffs on his wrists.  The hum of the ship's engine and distant voices were the only thing Swerve heard, so he went ahead and knocked on the door frantically.     

There was shuffling on the other side of the door, and it whooshed open to reveal a disgruntled R/N staring down at his short body.  Realization dawned on R/N, finally recognizing that the bot in front of him was Swerve. He grabbed Swerve by the shoulder and practically threw him inside the room, shutting the door quickly so no one would see. 

Swerve stumbled to his feet.

"What the hell was that for?!" Swerve asked frantically.  He was more scared then mad at this point. 

R/N made a shushing gesture, and that was when Swerve noticed the gun in his left hand; probably armed and Swerve knew about his past so he was probably ready to use it on someone.  His spark quickened and R/N must have noticed his panicked expression. 

"It's okay! It's on stun, don't worry!"

Silence.

"That's really not going to help your case if you use that thing." Swerve said, voice sounding hoarse and tense.  R/N didn't say anything, and peeped out the peep-hole and sighed in relief. 

"It's clear. Nobody followed you right?"

"I'm pretty sure."

R/N smiled and placed the gun down on the nearest counter.  Swerve didn't take his eyes off it the entire time.  His instincts were telling him to run and hide, instincts screaming at him that R/N was going to use it, kill him and dump his body in space.  He ignored them. 

"You may want to sit down for this." R/N warned, gesturing to the berth behind Swerve.  His limbs refused to cooperate; it was better to stand so he could get out of there faster incase R/N did anything shady. 

"Alright...well where to start." R/N rubbed his face tiredly. 

"How about you start by telling me about the whole _murderous Decepticon_ thing? "

R/N smiled sheepishly; his guilty look almost like a sparkling caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing.  Swerve's trust in this mech was whittling down piece by piece.

"Yeah, that would be a good place to start." R/N took a deep breath, as if preparing himself for a speech in front of a Prime.  He looked nervous, his optics flicking between the gun and the door.  Swerve's spark quickened it's beat. 

"Imagine me as...a hardcore drug addict, okay?"

Swerve's jaw dropped, fear being replaced with shock. 

"I was living in the gutter, practically living off this stuff.  I was always hungry, high, and...numb." R/N's face fell, and his expression became pained. Swerve didn't prompt him to continue; he knew where this was going. And he felt guilty for demanding R/N to open up to someone he only met a week ago. 

"I really don't remember a lot, but I do remember a group of mechs walking up to me and offering me a _real_ job.  They promised I would be fed and housed and have proper medical care.  High R/N must have thought that was one helluva deal." R/N smiled sadly, optics refusing to meet Swerve's.  Swerve pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. 

"Stop. No...no more."

R/N seemed relieved, and that made Swerve feel way more better about the situation they were in. For a moment, Swerve didn't feel like he was talking to a mindless killing machine, but to an actual bot who had problems.  The Decepticons had found him before the Autobots and struck a deal that must have felt like R/N was winning the lottery.  R/N wasn't the criminal here.  Megatron was. 

A heavy knock on the door shattered Swerve's thoughts.  R/N jumped and swiped the gun off the counter, looking through the peep-hole.  Swerve found himself taking a fighting stance.  He didn't know if he would be of any help. All he knew was that he was willing to protect his friend at all costs. 

"It's me...y'know Whirl?"

Swerve's stance faltered at the muffled voice, his mind coming to a complete stop. 

_'Why is he here?_ '

Swerve glanced at R/N, who didn't move an inch. 

"I just wanna talk...one psychopath to another?"

R/N stepped back and threw the gun at Swerve.  He caught it awkwardly, not expecting the sudden movement. 

"If he does anything, shoot him."

Swerve nodded and pointed the gun to where Whirl's head would be.  He couldn't believe he was about to do this. He couldn't believe he was about to shoot one of his friends.  His hands started quaking in fear.

The door slid open, startling Swerve so much, he almost dropped his gun.  It was definitely Whirl; his hands were up in surrender as he stepped through the doorway.  Whirl immediately noticed the gun aimed at his head.

"Wow Swerve. Didn't take you for the type to shoot your friends."

Swerve glared at him; now he was really tempted to shoot Whirl.  The door slid shut and R/N turned to face Whirl.

"Why are you here?" R/N demanded, arms crossed over his chest. 

"Considering you have at least five minutes before Ol' Magnus and Roddy show up, you might want to listen to what I have to offer. And trust me, Magnus looks pissed." 

Swerve almost slapped himself in the face.  He had forgotten to warn R/N about them. He shot a concerned look to R/N, who didn't say anything. Whirl sighed and gestured to the back of the ship. 

"I have an escape pod fired up and ready to go wherever you want."

R/N still didn't look convinced, eyeing up Whirl like he was a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any moment. 

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"Oh for the love of...I am _trying_ to help you!" Whirl glanced at Swerve, who had long since dropped the gun to his side. 

"You believe me right?"

Swerve twisted his mouth in thought.  _Did_ he believe Whirl? A bot he had known since they took off on the Ark together? Sure, Whirl had his...problems, but that didn't make him a bad bot.  There had been plenty of times Whirl had saved his hide from trouble.  

"I think we can trust him." 

R/N nodded and Whirl looked relieved. It wasn't long until Whirl opened the door and walked out. Once he was out of sight, Swerve offered the gun back to R/N. 

"Keep it." He said, "You might need it more than I do." 

When R/N quickly followed Whirl down the hall, Swerve felt the gun heavy in his hands. Was he willing to use those thing on his friends? His coworkers? His superiors? All for someone he had a silly crush on? 

Swerve jogged to catch up with the two bots. They got to the end of the hallway, and Whirl stopped, looking from side-to-side. 

"Down here." Whirl said suddenly, taking a sharp left down a dark hall barely illuminated by lights. The lights that were on flickered uncontrollably, parts of the wall eaten away by rust, exposing the many wires. 

The place made Swerve's stomach flutter nervously.

And R/N must have felt nervous too, as he stiffened and raised his fists up in defense. R/N shot a worried look to Swerve, who was practically biting his non-existent nails, and moved in front of his small body. He made himself a living shield to protect Swerve.  Despite the fact that they were being chased by two angry bots, Swerve blushed and moved closer to R/N. 

Swerve recognized this part of the ship; it was the only area that wasn't repaired before take-off.  It was old and gross, the floor slick with moss and other assorted growths.  Swerve slipped and slid almost the entire way, and he would have fallen down twice if R/N wasn't there to catch him by the arm.  They ended up holding hands the rest of the way.

' _To keep me from falling down!'_ Swerve thought with a blush raging across his face when R/N offered to hold his hand.  When they clasped their hands together, Swerve immediately felt safe and protected.  Of course, R/N had to take shorter steps to keep up Swerve's pace, but he overlooked that. 

They walked for what seemed like forever, until Whirl stopped at a door leading to one of the pod hatch bays. The door was rusty and old, years of abandonment corroding parts of it. Whirl punched in a code, stepping back as the door screeched open.  The sound was loud and deafening; Swerve had to cover his audio receptors to muffle the harsh sound.   

The door stopped with a loud click as it locked into place.  The dust settled, and Swerve could see rows upon rows of Escape Pods.  There was one in the middle, biolights on and engine fired up.  Swerve could hear R/N sigh in relief. 

"Stop right there!" 

Swerve' spark stopped cold at the voice.  R/N's optics widened, and he grabbed Swerve by his shoulders, yanking him closer.  The voice echoed down the long hallway, accompanied by various footsteps approaching their way fast. Swerve looked around R/N's long legs and gulped.

It was Magnus and Rodimus.  And they looked pissed. 


	4. I Guess This is Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have an excuse for the really, really late update. I was in the middle of moving houses and then I lost my computer and I couldn't type on my phone because it was broken and yadda yadda yadda.  
> I really hope you enjoy the chapter. Unedited as usual so bear with me if you see any mistakes.  
> Thank you guys so much for being patient!

Time stood still for Swerve.  His grip on the gun tightened as Magnus and Rodimus grew closer to the group.  They looked mad, faces contorted into rage as they stomped nearer.  Their footsteps echoed harshly against the hallway metal.  Behind the two, there was at least seven other bots.  Some looked angry, others looked confused.  Swerve recognized a couple of them from his bar. 

R/N grabbed Swerve by his shoulder and threw him into the pod hatch, shoving past Whirl to join him. 

"Close the door!" He shouted, throwing a fearful look over his shoulder at the raging Magnus.

Swerve tried not to be scared. He tried to imagine Magnus without his armour and how unharmful he was. That trademark Magnus glare, however, made Swerve gulp. 

Whirl nodded and punched a red button on the control panel.  The door slowly screeched shut, red hazard lights flashing.  Swerve watched dumfounded as Magnus and Rodimus drew nearer and nearer, and the door closed painstakingly slower and slower. Whirl gave a sarcastic wave goodbye, and the door closed with a hiss from the releasing compressors.  M/N breathed a quick sigh of relief, curling in on himself and placing his hands on his knees in mock exhaustion. 

"That was close, huh?"

Swerve didn't say anything for a few solid seconds before letting out a breathless laugh. 

"Yeah. Boy am I gonna be in tr-."

Something loud and hard hit the metal door. It sounded like fists slamming against the metal and it made Swerve jump. He whirled the gun around to its direction and R/N scrambled to his feet, standing beside Swerve protectively. 

"Whirl! Open up with door immediately!" Magnus' muffled voice shouted on the other side of the door. Swerve's grip on the gun tightened and he cocked the weapon. 

"Sorry. Tis' broken. You scared me and I accidentally punched it." There was shuffling, and Swerve heard Whirl growl, "Hey hey hey hands off!" 

Feet stamping and mad shuffling could be heard and the telltale sign of a Torch powering up made Swerve's gut drop. 

' _They're gonna cut through the door._ ' Swerve gulped. 

R/N's hand fell on Swerve's shoulder and he pulled him to his feet. 

"We gotta hurry. We don't have much time." 

Sparks and metal groaning proved his point. The door was turning red at the places they were cutting through and it was starting to melt. 

"C'mon!" 

They sprinted to the powered up pod. Swerve pumped his arms faster and tried to keep up with R/N. Swerve saw multiple pods fly by but he was only focused on the one powered up and ready to go. They skidded to a stop in front of the pod. 

Swerve's spark was beating horribly fast and his legs wobbled from exhaustion. 

Swerve placed his hands on his knees and panted, and he knew his legs were shaking. He could feel them. 

R/N tapped at a set of controls near the front of the pod and hit a specific set of keys. The engines hummed in response and a flash of blue light sputtered out of them. The engines were odd-shaped and faced the pair instead of away. 

The pod was smaller than Swerve expected; it was spherical with two lines of biolights flashing along its sides and it led all the down to the twin set of engines at the rear of the pod. They were spiked and protruded, smoking filtering out of the open ends, and they faced towards the pair and not away like most engines.  Swerve knew that it was designed so that the spacecraft could back out of the Lost Light through a door that slid open behind it. Swerve hoped R/N knew that. 

There was a giant window at the helm and Swerve could see both the control panel and the steering wheel were lit up. The soft, orange and yellow light was on inside, and it was strangely comforting. 

R/N glanced down at him with a soft smile. 

"You okay?" 

Swerve has taken aback. He wasn't expecting any sort of conversation, considering R/N  _was_ running for his life, and he kinda thought R/N would have gotten on the pod as quickly as possible and booked it out of the Lost Light.

Swerve's spark fluttered in anxiety. Why was he waiting? 

"Yeah...I guess I am." 

R/N shook his head and knelt down to Swerve's optic-level. 

"No no, are you  _okay_? With all of this?" R/N gestured to his surroundings with an open-palm and a questioning glance. 

Swerve straightened up. 

' _Why is he asking this?_ ' 

"I mean, it's gonna suck when Magnus arrests me for 'aiding the accused' or whatnot. He'll probably spout out some random law from the Autobot Lawbook and expect it to make sense." Swerve sighed and hugged himself, "Yeah, I'm okay with this." 

R/N downcasted his optics.  

"...You could come with me." 

Swerve barely heard R/N's whisper. His spark picked up its pace and his brain module was short wiring.

"W-what?" 

A gooey, splash came from the door. Swerve whirled around. 

Magnus and his guards were almost through. They'd cut a complete circle in the middle of the door, big enough for everyone to get through. The metal was giving out. Swerve gulped. 

' _Won't be long now._ ' 

R/N laid his hands on Swerve's shoulders, breaking his line of sight off the door and back at him.  

"Come with me." R/N said, voice panicky and flighty, but full of sparkling hope. His optics were full of warmth and hopefulness. And...love. 

Swerve ducked his head. Did he want to leave? Did he want to leave the quest behind and go with R/N? 

Ever since he'd heard of the Lost Light quest to find the old Knights of Cybertron, Swerve had wanted to go. He had imagined a life full of adventure and riches and happiness. He would have never expected to be almost killed numerous times, and probably still have his life threatened a time or two more. But...he  _liked_ it here. He had friends, he had the bar that he'd always wanted to run and he had expectations and dreams yet to be fulfilled.  He wanted to see this quest through to the end and come back to Cybertron and rub it in the faceplates of everyone who didn't believe they could do it. He wanted to do the impossible and show everyone that it  _was_ possible.  He wanted to be a part of the reason that future Cybertron would be safe and everyone would live in harmony despite the four-million year old war that racked their planet. 

Swerve sighed. 

He wasn't ready to leave. 

"I-I'm sorry but-" 

"You can't leave." R/N smiled sadly and squeezed Swerve's shoulder, "Don't be sorry. I understand." 

Swerve smiled back, staring into R/N's optics, hoping he could convey the message that he wished he could go. R/N's hand snaked around to the back of Swerve's head and he pressed their foreheads together.

Swerve felt his legs wobble like jelly at the touch. It was nice. Comforting. Warm. Loving.

He wanted to stay like that forever. 

The harsh reality of life smashed into him and knocked him down to the ground.  Well maybe not reality. But something definitely pushed him down onto his face. 

Coughing, the first thing Swerve heard was gunfire echoeing throughout the podbay. And many, many shouts of surprise. His optics were fuzzy from the impact; he could only see moving blobs of blurry colours running around.

He saw R/N's f/c paint hiding behind his escape pod. He saw a yellow blob sneaking around the other side of the pod towards unsuspecting mech. R/N, what Swerve could see with shitty vision, was more focused on the six other bots firing their stun-guns at him. And most importantly, Magnus and Rodimus. 

His mind screamed at Swerve to get up and warn R/N before it was too late. Disorientated enough, Swerve reached for his gun, which had skidded a few feet away from his body when he'd landed. Clasping his fingers around the handle, Swerve sprinted towards R/N as fast as he could. He dodged a stray bullet aimed at his face and fired back as best as he could with his own gun. A blast near his feet made him stumble to miss it and he tripped. He slid the rest of the short way on his knees, and R/N, it seemed like, had been waiting for him. He engulfed Swerve in his massive arms as protection, and Swerve could hear his spark beating spastically faster then normal. 

"Behind you!" Swerve shouted, shoving the gun into R/N unsuspecting hand.

R/N probably had better aim than him.

R/N pinched his eyebrows in confusion and looked over his shoulder. A bot's shadow was creeping just in their field of vision. R/N cocked the gun, and fired as soon as the bot came into view. 

The bolt hit the Mech square in the chest and he stumbled, clutching at his spark with wide eyes. His body spasmed and his knees collapsed to the ground, and soon, he was out cold.

Swerve felt sick. 

The mech was a frequent at his bar, and, albeit Swerve only talked to him a few times, he seemed like he was a nice guy. 

R/N turned back to Swerve and gripped his shoulders tightly. 

"Listen to me Swervy. I don't know how and I don't know when, but I  _will_ find you. I promise." 

R/N reached into his subspace and pulled out a small, replica matrix out. It looked exactly like the real thing, only it was on a tiny chain loop. 

R/N took Swerve's hand and placed it square in his palm, curling Swerve's fingers protectively over it. 

"Remember me." 

R/N pulled his hands back and the warmth of the metal was gone. Swerve's spark tightened in realization. R/N was  _actually_ leaving. Right now. 

And it was at that point that Swerve realized, he didn't want R/N to  _go._ Swerve opened his mouth to say something, but his voice caught in his throat. 

"R/N of Praxius, come out with your hands up!" Magnus' voice boomed out, making Swerve jump. 

"When has that ever worked, Magnus? Has that worked with you before?" Rodimus said, and Swerve could practically hear the smirk in his voice. 

"Goodbye Swerve." R/N whispered. Swerve was too numb to respond. This was really happening. 

R/N leaned forward and pressed a small, light kiss against Swerve's lips.

Fireworks exploded in Swerve's head and his spark fluttered and his legs were weak and oh goodness was this what love felt like? 

He could've stayed like that forever, warm and happy and actually feeling loved for once. It was intoxicating and Swerve wanted more. 

But, all too soon, R/N pulled away. Swerve's hands flew out to grab at the taller bots metal and pull him back. They hit empty air.

Desperation consumed his emotions. He wanted R/N back.

R/N climbed a few stairs, punching a button on the outside of the ship and the door slid open. R/N walked in and paused.

Swerve felt hopeful. Had he changed his mind? R/N glanced over his shoulder. He swore he could see tears in R/N's optics, and he didn't blame him. Swerve felt like crying too. 

But, R/N shook his head and slammed the button on the other side, the door closing painstakingly slowly. 

The engines roared to full power. A rush of hot air hit Swerve and the yellow bot and it pushed them both out of the way of the blast zone. Swerve hit his head hard off the floor, hard enough for stars to explode behind his optics. It hurt and he gurgled in pain, a hand flying up to cradle his pounding head. 

Swerve flipped onto his back and watched as the wall behind the pod slid open, letting the craft out into space. 

Swerve watched as Magnus's guards ceased fire. He watched as R/N's pod winked out of sight. He watched as his vision faded into the black void of nothingness, and the last thing he saw before blacking out from head trauma, was Rodimus' face staring down at him in sympathy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of doing an epilogue. Would you guys want an epilogue done?


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the Epilogue! Thank you to everyone who read my story and left Kudos and nice comments that just flat out brightened my day!

"You're not acting like yourself anymore, Swerve. Everything okay?" 

Swerve jumped at the new voice. He'd been busy cleaning a drinking glass and trying to drown his feelings and memories he'd developed for R/N.  He didn't even notice Rodimus walk into the bar and sit down on the stool in front of him. 

' _He's never coming back_.' He told himself. It was easy to believe, but that didn't stop his spark pounding at the mere thought of R/N coming back to the Lost Light and sweeping Swerve off his stabilizers. 

"Uh-yeah! I'm doing great actually." Swerve tried to hide the disappoint in his voice, but it shone through plain as day. Rodimus gave him a concerned look. 

"Are you sure?" 

Swerve set down the glass and tossed the rag onto the counter. 

"I'm certain." 

But he wasn't. His spark ached for R/N almost every day. He wished to feel R/N's lips against his and to be enclosed in those strong arms again. He wanted to show R/N that he was more than a tiny bot with great jokes. But, it was too late now. 

Rodimus gave him an uncertain look and drummed his fingers on the counter awkwardly, watching him with concerned eyes. 

Swerve smiled reassuringly, even though his spark ached for R/N's touch. He was starved for his touch, even though R/N escaped a month ago. 

Swerve's mind replayed the memory automatically; when he woke up after passing out, the first thing he did was ask where R/N was. After remembering that he'd left and was never coming back, he started asking around for the small replica Matrix necklace R/N had given him. Rodimus had picked it up after the other bots took Swerve to see Ratchet. He'd held onto it for Swerve until he woke up. Which was two days after R/N escaped.  

Swerve sighed and put the glass back in its place, and made eye contact with Rodimus, giving a small shrug. 

"I'm fine. Honestly." 

Rodimus sighed, seemingly knowing Swerve would never open up to him, and pushed himself up. He shot Swerve one last look before walking out the bar. 

Swerve watched him leave, hand traveling into his subspace to pull out the matrix replica. 

' _Am I okay?_ ' It was something he asked himself everyday after R/N left. The answer was always the same ' _Yes I am quite fine. I made the right decision.'_

Some days though, he wondered if he did make the right decision to stay. 

If he'd gone with R/N, he would always be on the run with him, always moving from place to place to keep away from bounty hunters. And, since R/N technically was a defect Decepticon, the DJD. 

Swerve shuddered, running a thumb over the details of the necklace.  

But if he went, he would have been with R/N for the rest of his life. He would be in his arms, he would be smooching R/N's cute faceplates. 

And he wouldn't have been alone. 

Swerve looked around the bar. He wasn't sure if he was alone or not in the Lost Light. Some days it felt like it; nobody talked to him and were only interested in his drinks. 

Other days, he never felt like he was ever alone. Skids would tell stories and always laugh at his jokes, Whirl was...Whirl, and the rest of the crew tried to make an effort to make him feel wanted. 

After R/N, everyone tried to make him feel wanted. But...it wasn't the same. 

Swerve sighed, and got out from behind the counter, placing the 'Closed' sign on the sleek surface. 

He walked through the door and towards his Hab Suite, hoping to sleep some of his sadness off. Or drown his sorrows in liquor. 

Swerve punched the code in and slid the door shut behind him, making sure to lock it. 

The room was almost completely dark; something in the corner of his room glowed a dull blue in the inky black. As Swerve approached, he saw it was a Datapad. 

Somehow, it was on. 

Confusion filled Swerve. He always turned off his Datapads. 

His optics could see there was lettering on it. A note. 

Swerve picked it up cautiously, and held it closer. 

It read: 

_Hey Swervy,_

_I just wanted to let you know that I'm safe and well, and living like a king actually, on a Neutral planet in System 187. There's lotsa planets so nobody will be able to find me!_

_Anyway, life's good. I got an actual job as a...wait for it...doctor! Yes! I'm a Medic now. I'll build up the money to open up that Body Shop I mentioned while I was still onboard the Lost Light._

_Speaking of, how's that? The adventure going good, no hiccups or people trying to kill you? I'll fly straight back to kill whoever hurts you, don't worry. Ol' R/N will protect you. Not that you need protecting however._

_I hope when you get back, you'll open up that bar! I'm really looking forward to trying out all your drinks. And meeting Blurr will be awesome!_

_...Man, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Writing the letter, that is. I really miss you. Like, a lot._

_Someday, when I get the money to pay off my crimes, or when I get brave enough to face the music and answer for what I did, I'll try and come visit you._

_No, I WILL come and visit. When you return from your quest, please try and contact me and tell me. I'll make sure to fly straight back to Cybertron and visit you._

_Oh jeez, I gotta go. Boss is calling me._

_Well stay safe, don't die, and I guess it's too late to say it but I love you._

_Until we meet again,_

_R/N._

Swerve had to swipe away the tears gathering in his eyes. A sad smile played at his lips as he sat down on his berth. 

He saved the letter to a folder and opened a new one, making sure to remember the address. 

_Hey R/N_

_It's me..._


End file.
